Steinschmatz

Part two: High on Treason

“Are you saying you managed to infiltrate a human reproduction gathering on your first day?”

The Accusator made sure to ask this loud and clear so that the whole GUPA network could pick up on the hapless agent’s early successes.

“I am not sure about the goal of their intricate rituals, often, they lead to nothing. Seems like they announce a lot of things to each other and then go home alone, unable to decide how to pair up. I could not explain how they reached such a large overall population like this.”

“What else did you learn about them at that point?”

“They like to talk about themselves and what geological era they are in, also, they tend to share their religious views about stones and energy and most importantly, they have 12 tribes called “zodiacs” that are in an endless war against each other but I was unable to distinguish what separates them from one another, only that you a born in a caste or tribe and have to remain in it your whole lifespan. They also mark their body with a lot of permanent war paintings.”

“Do you think you did your research on a representative group of humans or on a subgroup?”

“At the time, I figured they are the absolute pinnacle of human society, well, they didn’t say it like that but they remarked how un-evolved and un-liberated the other tribes were so I assumed I had already infiltrated the highest echelons of human society. Also, the specimens I studied closely were able to move about on their planet without limitations and most surprisingly, didn’t have to perform any productive work to sustain their resource-intense life-cycles, some sold pictures for pocket devices, others were tasked to tell the lower groups what to do with their life, one even was a high-paid athlete in their mating dance.”

“Did you ask about their defense network?”

“Yes, I did and so… They immediately got pretty weird and explained to me their nation state had really changed a lot and now has no intention of hurting anyone and that they are very sorry but they also were very adamant that THEIR forefathers had absolutely nothing to do with anything. Pretty strange, our defense satellites and rock throwers are a point of pride and the humans were really keen on distancing themselves from anything that could protect them.”

“Do you think they caught on and gave you incorrect information to muddy the water?”

“Yeah, I thought so as well but this group was not at all prepared to find me there and all of them had the same reflex of telling me they had nothing to do with anything so I concluded they were telling the truth.”

“What happened then?”

“The ritual continued.”

“You were on Earth for 3 months?”

The Accusator was checking his notes hastily, a slight panic creeping up his fins. He smiled at the camerahole but Frank’s answer soon buried his hopes of looking semi-professional at least:

“Yea, it is some kind of caste that has to perform these rituals all the time, like our temple servants. I stayed with them and mastered their biochemical enhancement techniques, mating dances and rhythmic combat training they do in special clubs.”

“Did you ever leave the habitat with the basin?”

“Ah, yes of course but their whole society is pretty limited in activities, apart from the aforementioned rituals, they only engage in consumption of various fluid and non-fluid materials where they further separate into several religions as to what they consume and what not. They also spend a lot of time hibernating or engaging with the command modules in their pockets that tell them the basic details of their life. They also pray to lower four-legged lifeforms and meet every need of those creatures. All in all, not a particularly impressive species.”

“So, this is all you did?”

“Yea, I infiltrated the top and just had them give me all the information I needed.”

“So what was your recommendation to the attack fleet then?”

“Swamp Admiral Ursubbuk debriefed me and I told it that it would be a walk in the park to take that planet and subjugate them. Basically, we agreed on 3 things:

1. Humans are very peaceful and preach non-violence, especially in communication
2. Their central communications network is called APPLE and if we take the local communication centers they call STORES, their ability to mount an organized resistance breaks apart
3. The highest tier of human civilization is a tribe called “Capricorns”, if we imprison them all, the rest will fall in line”

The next part „How the Turntables“ will appear on Steinschmatz soon(-ish), after I’ve written some other pieces and found time to proofread the next section of Frank’s trial.

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